2012
has truly been a rough year for us! We had so much go wrong and we have been
trying to pull our heads above water. With my household that runs on chaos and
trying to find a functional routine for everyone, it has driven a lot out of me
emotionally. Trying to bring an extra income to keep things going has mentally
drained me. Trying to be a mother and a business woman has me failing at what
is important to me and understanding where things went wrong. So here is a
breakdown of what I need to do in order to regain my passion and faith back.
Home: Trying to get my house under
control, with two very young boys who are very different and a pre-teen as
well. A new baby on its way and trying to make sure I maintain a healthy pregnancy.
Each home/life is different not one
family the same! That’s what I tell everyone and I wish people understood that!
My life as it is and never imagines having an unbalance of characters living under
one roof. My middle child has Asperger’s and dealing with that daily is very
stressful on a family and individual. I have dealt with it alone for 3 years
and one year with my husband finally realizing what is true. Emotionally I am
drained!
Income: I struggle daily to market
myself, plan deals, and all the fun stuff that comes with having your own
business. It’s not easy and I knew that before I went into doing this, but what
hurts me the most is when I am taken advantage of. I have learned a lot through
the individuals I’ve meet. Some are so amazing and they stick with me for all
their memories, that I am so blessed and so very grateful. Other’s taken the
free and run or the kindness I have given as well. I have lost so much income
that was not made in order to make customers happy, income that was directly
out of my husband’s income in order to cover cost lost.
Along
with business side I found myself only wanting to maintain one site for
families to view. I like my website I have now, but I do not love it! Sometimes
this gal gets push to hurry and I settle, I always find myself settling for things
that are not what I loved. So I will by starting everything ALL over again from
scratch, also because there is already Jessica Ann Photography out there based
in NY. Still I want to be my own and not one a like! 2012 could have been better,
but it has taught me a lot and I have been blessed to meet some very amazing
people.
Myself: I found I have lost my umph
to produce images that inspire me to continue shooting. A lot it has happen due
to the endless battle I had with my boudoir side, I love that passion I have
for the beauty of the human body. But people, who find it in their nature to
knock others down, will find ways to create stress in those people’s lives. I
am just a simple person, trying to live life with the dreams she has. But it
has come to my attention; some have it a bit more easily than others while
others take a lot longer. I have a big family and juggle a lot. I can’t meet
the demands of everyone and I wish people would look at my work before they
start asking me to create others works! I like things to be simple, life is simple
and not full of props. I like to just photography life how it is and who you
are. I am Jessica and Jessica only! My saying life is Perfectly Imperfect, is
true to the core. That’s who I am!
To
end this, come December 18th, my website will be taken down and I
will be converting over to a blog site instead. There I will start my true self
and start writing about my own personal life struggles with all that is blessed
in my life. My words will not be perfectly fit to those who love
grammar/English, but in the sense of truly who I am. Not perfectly educated,
but smart enough to know what works for me.
Again
thank you to all who have been so amazing and continue to support me. Hoping
2013 will be a better year, if not at least less stressful. What God has
planned for me and my family. I am here to take that ride with him once again!
Love,
Jessica
No comments:
Post a Comment